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As the Scepter Rises

a Purim Farce

written by Jordan S Franzel

Chapter One

Queen Vashti Quashed 

1. This is what happened during the time of Ahashuarus, the Ahashuarus who ruled over 127 provinces stretching from India to Africa: 2. At that time King Ahashuarus reigned from his royal throne in the citadel of Susa, 3. and in the third year of his reign he gave a banquet for all his nobles and officials. The military leaders of Persia and Media, the princes, and the nobles of the provinces were present. 4. For a full 180 days he displayed the vast wealth of his kingdom and the splendor and glory of his majesty. 5. When these days were over, the king gave a banquet, lasting seven days, in the enclosed garden of the king’s palace, for all the people from the least to the greatest who were in the citadel of Susa.

John Blunt: Good Evening, I’m John Blunt and I am very excited to bring you into this evening’s Town Hall Debate with all the Presidential candidates. We are in downtown Shushan for what will prove to be an exciting evening. Tonight we will hear from Donald the King Trumpshuarus, Queen Vashti Fiorina, BernieChai Sanders, Hillary Esther Clinton, a bunch of eunuchs, and the evil Tea Partier, Green Eggs and Ham reading, with the face even his mother just wants to slap… Ted Haman Cruz.

Trump: He’s not even American, John. Does anyone else smell Canadian bacon?

John Blunt: Oh, and John Kasich!

John Kasich: Hi everyone!

Marco: And let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing, he knows exactly what he’s doing…he’s trying to change the Empire…

John Blunt: Um….After a week long convention, where there was clearly a lot of drinking, our candidates have stayed for one more day…to try and get sober. Tonight our candidates and their alter-egos will be challenged by highly intelligent and well thought out questions. As these questions will be asked by well tanned and toned models in swimsuit wear, we ask, no, we hope that our candidates will give focussed and well thought out answers. They will also, for absolutely no reason, attempt to weave the story contained in the Scroll of Esther into their responses. This too will be done in an expertly skilled way with high energy.

Trump: You hear that Jeb Bush!

Jeb Bush: Why is he picking on me already? I haven’t said anything yet. Mama Bush please help!

Trump: Exactly my point!

John Blunt: And now our moderators Meghan Kelly and Anderson Cooper will ask their questions.

Meghan Kelly: Good evening, I’m Meghan Kelly and I can assure you, especially you Trump, that all our questions are fair and not at all biased in any way. And, there will be no blood coming out of anything tonight.

Trump: I’m relieved.

Anderson Cooper: Hi.

Meghan: Our first question goes to you King Trumpshuarus. What people seem to like about you is your ability to say whatever you want with absolutely no filter, especially when it comes to women. You’ve called women you don’t like fat pigs, slobs, dogs, ugly, and disgusting animals…

Trump: That was mostly Rosie O’Donnell.

Meghan: It was more than Rosie. King Trumpshuarus, we understand you are looking for a new running mate or another woman you can bully. Tell us what was wrong with Queen Vashti Fiorina?

Trump: Look at her face. She wanted to dance naked in front of my friends. I would not buy or sell a single fetus to see that. I ordered her to stop and put some clothes on but she refused. So I had her removed from my list of possible VP’s.

Vashti Fiorina: Oh yeah? He’s been in bankruptcy like 50 times.

Trump: Only moral bankruptcy.

Meghan: So, what happened?

Trump:  Yeah, I have these guys I consult with, my seven advisors, all who are absolutely the smartest guys I know, it could knock you out how smart they are, and a quick shout out to Karshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena and Memukan…they told me, basically, that Vashti did a horrible thing. I’m like even embarrassed to say what she did…it’s disgusting, and my man, Memukan said that what Vashti did was horrible and that we can’t let it get out there because basically every woman will follow her lead and disobey the men. And because Vashti is most likely the only woman I have ever offended we banned her from disrespecting me and thereby no other woman will ever disrespect their husband…… I swear it made sense on parchment.

16. Then Memukan replied in the presence of the king and the nobles, “Queen Vashti has done wrong, not only against the king but also against all the nobles and the peoples of all the provinces of King Ahashuarus. 17. For the queen’s conduct will become known to all the women, and so they will despise their husbands and say, ‘King Ahashuarus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought before him, but she would not come.’ 18. This very day the Persian and Median women of the nobility who have heard about the queen’s conduct will respond to all the king’s nobles in the same way. There will be no end of disrespect and discord.

19. “Therefore, if it pleases the king, let him issue a royal decree and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media, which cannot be repealed, that Vashti is never again to enter the presence of King Ahashuarus. Also let the king give her royal position to someone else who is better than she. 20. Then when the king’s edict is proclaimed throughout all his vast realm, all the women will respect their husbands, from the least to the greatest.”

21. The king and his nobles were pleased with this advice, so the king did as Memukan proposed. 22. He sent dispatches to all parts of the kingdom, to each province in its own script and to each people in their own language, proclaiming that every man should be ruler over his own household, using his native tongue.

Chapter Two

1. Later when King Ahashuarus’ fury had subsided, he remembered Vashti and what she had done and what he had decreed about her. 2. Then the king’s personal attendants proposed, “Let a search be made for beautiful young virgins for the king. 3. Let the king appoint commissioners in every province of his realm to bring all these beautiful young women into the harem at the citadel of Susa. Let them be placed under the care of Hegai, the king’s eunuch, who is in charge of the women; and let beauty treatments be given to them. 4. Then let the young woman who pleases the king be queen instead of Vashti.” This advice appealed to the king, and he followed it.

BREAKING NEWS

King Trumpshuarus, owner of Miss USA and Miss Persia just announced that he will be holding a new contest, Miss Shushan, whose winner will be the Monarch’s new running mate. After extensive plastic surgery and special enhancements Miss Shushan will be the most impossibly beautiful woman in the entire known and probably, when the probe returns, unknown universe. She is predicted to be so unbelievably attractive that she will need to wear a veil at all times, hiding her face…ironically, as looking at her for prolonged periods of time will eventually cause blindness.

Marco: And let’s dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing, he knows exactly what he’s doing…he’s trying to change the Empire…

Anderson: Didn’t you already say that? And what does that have to do with anything…no one asked you!

Chris Christie: He likes to say that every once in a while. It’s his 25 second memorized speech. Just let him get it out of his system.

Marco: I am not a robot! I just want us to get back to the issue at hand and dispel with this fiction that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing, he knows exactly what he’s doing…he’s trying to change the Empire by not allowing short men to buy from the children’s rack.

Chris Christie: You see what I mean? Have some water, Rubio!

Meghan: Colonel Sanders…

Bernie: It’s BernieChai.

Meghan: Colonel BernieChai Sanders, you have previously identified as a Monotheistic Independent. What do you now consider yourself?

Bernie: I am a Yiddish Socialist.

Anderson: Can you tell us what that means?

Bernie: No! Look it up, it’s in the Torah.

Hillary: Can you email me that citation?

Bernie:  Hillary, we’re so sick of your goddamn emails!

5. Now there was in the citadel of Susa a Jew of the tribe of Benjamin, named Mordecai son of Jair, the son of Shimei, the son of Kish, 6. who had been carried into exile from Jerusalem by Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon, among those taken captive with Jehoiachin king of Judah. 7. Mordecai had a cousin named Hadassah, whom he had brought up because she had neither father nor mother. This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died.

8. When the king’s order and edict had been proclaimed, many young women were brought to the citadel of Susa and put under the care of Hegai. Esther also was taken to the king’s palace and entrusted to Hegai, who had charge of the harem. 9. She pleased him and won his favor. Immediately he provided her with her beauty treatments and special food. He assigned to her seven female attendants selected from the king’s palace and moved her and her attendants into the best place in the harem.

10. Esther had not revealed her nationality and family background, because Mordecai had forbidden her to do so. 11. Every day he walked back and forth near the courtyard of the harem to find out how Esther was and what was happening to her.

Anderson: And now a question for Dr. Carson…Are you… here?

Ben Carson: Yes. And I have reason to believe that Noah landed his ark somewhere in Philadelphia looking for a cheesesteak. Two of each kind…with and without hummus.

Trump: Ben, we thought you went home.

Ben Carson: I am home… on the planet Xanax 12. I am astral projecting my image into this Town Hall space using my skills as a neurosurgeon.

Meghan: Colonel Bernie Chai, Madeline Albright has stated that there is a special place in hell for a woman that doesn’t support another women. Should all women automatically vote for their gender?

Bernie: I have long considered myself to be a feminist and many years ago Gloria Steinem made me an honorary woman.

Anderson: King Trumpshuarus, with your obvious contempt and fear of women, why are you now considering having another female vice president?

Trump: I’ve become very fond of pantsuits.

15. When the turn came for Esther (the young woman Mordecai had adopted, the daughter of his uncle Abihail) to go to the king, she asked for nothing other than what Hegai, the king’s eunuch who was in charge of the harem, suggested. And Esther won the favor of everyone who saw her. 16. She was taken to King Ahashuarus in the royal residence in the tenth month, the month of Tevet, in the seventh year of his reign.

17. Now the king was attracted to Esther more than to any of the other women, and she won his favor and approval more than any of the other virgins. So he set a royal crown on her head and made her queen instead of Vashti. 18. And the king gave a great banquet, Esther’s banquet, for all his nobles and officials. He proclaimed a holiday throughout the provinces and distributed gifts with royal liberality.

 

BREAKING NEWS

In an apparent warp or rip in the fabric of the space-time continuum King “the Donald” Trumpshuarus has chosen Hillary Polly-Esther Pantsuit Clinton as his running mate. The King will pledge up to half of his kingdom to his new mate.

Trump: Although I have serious doubts as to the nationality of Hillary Polly-Esther, I have yet to see a birth certificate, I am making her my running mate even though she did a terrible job as Secretary of State.

Hillary: And I can see Russia from my house!

 

Mordecai Uncovers a Conspiracy

19. When the virgins were assembled a second time, Mordecai was sitting at the king’s gate. 20. But Esther had kept secret her family background and nationality just as Mordecai had told her to do, for she continued to follow Mordecai’s instructions as she had done when he was bringing her up. 21. During the time Mordecai was sitting at the king’s gate, Bigthana and Teresh, two of the king’s officers who guarded the doorway, became angry and conspired to assault King Ahashuarus.

 

BREAKING NEWS

Bigthan & Teresh, two of  Trumpshuarus’s eunuchs have become furious and they are now on record as wanting to seriously slap the King. At the King’s last rally these two disgruntled eunuchs began to protest Trumpshuarus when he started talking about the Eunuch Voting Reformation Bill about to pass in congress. BernieChai, the Jew somehow foiled and frustrated their plan to slap the King, they were caught and the two eunuchs both lost their heads in a beautiful decapitation which can be viewed on our website under the hashtag of “DEBT: Disgruntled Eunuchs Beheaded Today.” All of this was recorded in a cute round droid known as BB-L…the droid of records. (gratuitous Star Wars reference)

Meghan: Trumphshuarus, you were about to be slapped by two eunuchs at your own rally, how do you feel about that?

Trump: Well, I’m not going to use their language but they basically wanted to shlong me.

Meghan: I don’t speak Yiddish but even I know you’re using that word incorrectly.

Ben Carson: So, according to those high falutin’ scientists, if I blow a hurricane through a junkyard enough times, over billions and billions of years, eventually after one of those hurricanes, there will be a 747 fully loaded and ready to fly? And this theory of evolution that Darwin came up with was definitely encouraged by Satan, and now it’s politically correct to believe it, and there are many scientists who disagree with it but are afraid to say anything.

Meghan: Ben, have you eaten today?

Chapter Three

Haman’s Plot to Destroy the Jews

1. After these events, King Ahashuarus honored Haman son of Hammedatha, the Agagite, elevating him and giving him a seat of honor higher than that of all the other nobles. 2. All the royal officials at the king’s gate knelt down and paid honor to Haman, for the king had commanded this concerning him. But Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor. 3. Then the royal officials at the king’s gate asked Mordecai, “Why do you disobey the king’s command?” 4. Day after day they spoke to him but he refused to comply. Therefore they told Haman about it to see whether Mordecai’s behavior would be tolerated, for he had told them he was a Jew. 5. When Haman saw that Mordecai would not kneel down or pay him honor, he was enraged. 6. Yet having learned who Mordecai’s people were, he scorned the idea of killing only Mordecai. Instead Haman looked for a way to destroy all Mordecai’s people, the Jews, throughout the whole kingdom of Ahashuarus.

BREAKING NEWS

It appears that Ted Haman Canadian Cruz is polling at second place in most of Shushan and in all the provinces of the Trumpshuarus Empire. This somehow gives him absolute power with executive actions and the ability to commit genocide. The King made it a law that everyone must bow down to Haman-Cruz

Bernie: I’m in my seventies. I don’t even bend to tie my shoes anymore.

Ted Cruz: I’ll tell you what we’re going to do, we are going to bagel-bomb those Jews, build a m’chitzah, and keep those Jew York values out of Persia.

Trump: That sounds like a terrific plan. If we build a wall, I like this because that’s what I do, I build things, we’ll get a deal, we can get those Jews to pay for it.

Ted: Oh they’ll pay for it all right. Under my rule all underlings will bow down before me… especially those Jews.

 

BREAKING NEWS

Ted Haman Canadian Cruz and his scientists have revealed that the Jews inability to bow down before him may come from the fact that their ancestral DNA had been spliced with the DNA of Leonard Nemoy and other alien life forms.

Ted Cruz: You know, he’s got New York values. And I think everyone here knows exactly what I mean.

Bernie: If anyone’s got New York values it’s me, I’m from Brooklyn, damn it!! And that damn Trump eats pizza with a fork and knife.

Hillary: I eat pizza with a spoon!

 

BREAKING NEWS

Ted Haman Canadian Cruz has just syphoned funds from his super-pac known as ISIS, ISIL, or just plain ASSHOLE, and is planning to campaign for a mass attack on all the Jews of the Empire by bagel-bombing them on the 13th of the month of Adar. The month and date was chosen by a lottery system known as the “Pur” or in plural, “Purim.”

Ted Cruz: There are many, many wonderful, wonderful Jewish people in Trumpshuarus’ Empire but everyone knows that they have New York values, they’re liberal and progressive and I can’t see why killing all of them is so bad. And by the way, they really don’t like green eggs and ham and ….they’re most likely to burn in hell, I’m just saying.

Chapter Four

Mordecai Persuades Esther to Help

4. When Mordecai learned of all that had been done, he tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and ashes, and went out into the city, wailing loudly and bitterly. 2. But he went only as far as the king’s gate, because no one clothed in sackcloth was allowed to enter it. In every province to which the edict and order of the king came, there was great mourning among the Jews, with fasting, weeping and wailing. Many lay in sackcloth and ashes.

Anderson: BernieChai, you are considered the leader-de facto of the Jewish people having been raised in Brooklyn. What do you think of Haman-Cruz’s plan to annihilate  your people?

Bernie: I think it’s appalling that 1% of Persia wants to kill 99% percent of the Jews.

Anderson: I think it’s 100%.

Bernie: I thought they might spare me because I look like Larry David.

Ben Carson: ..and my personal theory is that Joseph built the pyramids, and I think they were used to store grain. I mean, look how big they are. Something like that has still got to stick around. You know, they have that air tight seal, they’re like big tupperware. Now, I know scientists disagree with me. They say that aliens built the pyramids and I just think that Joseph didn’t need aliens because he had God on his side.

Anderson: Wow, Dr. Ben! I’m not even sure anyone has a response to that. Hillary Polly-Esther, what actions would you take to thwart Haman’s plan to kill all the Jews?

Hillary: Well, I would consult with my advisors, and I would set up my own private internet server that I would keep in my wing of the Shushan Palace…

Bernie: Pardon my Yiddish Miss Clinton but, all of Shushan is sick of your damn emails. Just admit you’re really Jewish, Hillary. Stop hiding behind your huge speaking engagement fees, take off the veil and show that idiot Trumpshuarus who you really are. Maybe only you can save us. Do you think Ted Haman Cruz would spare you just because you’re Trump’s running mate? Make no mistake, Ted Cruz doesn’t like you and if he finds out you’ve got New York values too, that you’re a Jew, I am sure he would personally bialy-bomb you. And you’re not progressive and moderate at the same time…can’t be done.

Chapter Five

Esther’s Request to the King

1. On the third day Esther put on her royal robes and stood in the inner court of the palace, in front of the king’s hall. The king was sitting on his royal throne in the hall, facing the entrance. 2. When he saw Queen Esther standing in the court, he was pleased with her and held out to her the gold scepter that was in his hand. So Esther approached and touched the tip of the scepter.

Meghan: Mr Trumpshuarus, are there any personal flaws that you would like to disclose, any physical or mental health issues that you would like people to know about.

Trump: My doctor has already testified to the fact that I am super human, that I’ve actually evolved the species within myself, even in the time of this campaign, and that I have incredible strength and hair. And I have a whole staff of the best doctors that has informed me, and this is documented, that I will probably never die so, it’s quite ironic that with all the massive and huge things that I build, I still fail to maintain an erected scepter. That is until the other night. Hillary approached and my royal rod rose. She touched it and from that moment on she had my full attention. I thought she wanted half of my Trump Tower but she just asked to throw a dinner party for myself and that Ted Haman Cruz guy.

 

BREAKING NEWS

Hillary Polly-Esther is all set to host a series of two dinners with King Trumpshuarus and Ted Haman Canadian Cruz. At these dinners they will discuss climate change, the Pope, and whether the Great Wall of China can really be seen from outer space.

Hillary: Actually, I was just really in the mood for some chicken after fasting for three days. I did have a plan, however.

Anderson: Ted Haman Cruz, you seemed to have really enjoyed yourself at that first dinner with Hillary Polly-Esther…

Ted Cruz: It was a wonderful affair and I really think they liked me but when I left and walked home, and went out of my way to pass by that BernieChai Sanders all I could focus on was the fact that that Jew still refused to bow down to me.

Anderson: You know it’s the second of their 10 commandments not to bow down to anything or anyone other than God…

Ted Cruz: I don’t care about that. It’s so rude. My wife, Zeresh, and friends told me to build a 50 foot pole to impale him on.

Anderson: …because nothing could go wrong with that plan…

 

Haman’s Rage Against Mordecai

9. Haman went out that day happy and in high spirits. But when he saw Mordecai at the king’s gate and observed that he neither rose nor showed fear in his presence, he was filled with rage against Mordecai. 10. Nevertheless, Haman restrained himself and went home. Calling together his friends and Zeresh, his wife, 11. Haman boasted to them about his vast wealth, his many sons, and all the ways the king had honored him and how he had elevated him above the other nobles and officials. 12. “And that’s not all,” Haman added. “I’m the only person Queen Esther invited to accompany the king to the banquet she gave. And she has invited me along with the king tomorrow. 13. But all this gives me no satisfaction as long as I see that Jew Mordecai sitting at the king’s gate.”

His wife Zeresh and all his friends said to him, “Have a pole set up, reaching to a height of fifty cubits, and ask the king in the morning to have Mordecai impaled on it. Then go with the king to the banquet and enjoy yourself.” This suggestion delighted Haman, and he had the pole set up.

Chapter Six

Meghan: King Trumpshuarus, you have already admitted to your SDS, scepter dysfunction syndrome, but isn’t it true you also suffer from insomnia caused by uncontrollable flatulence and painful projectile diarrhea? Didn’t this influence how you felt about the Jews?

Trump: I don’t know what happened with us, Meghan, that you would ask such an inappropriate question. I used to think you were a good journalist but now, not so much. Anyway, I was sitting on my special throne, and now you know why thanks to Meghan, I couldn’t sleep so I was doing some light reading when it became known to me that BernieChai saved my life and I never thanked him. I immediately made sure that he knew that I thought he did a terrific job and I would like to reward him.

Meghan: Ted Canadian Bacon Haman Cruz, would you like to comment on that?

Ted Cruz: I went to see the King so I could think up some new lies…I mean, creative spins on reality to sell people and he starts telling me that he wants to honor someone. Well, I naturally thought he was talking about me. But wouldn’t you know it, he wanted to honor Colonel Sanders! At least I was still the honored guest at the next dinner with Trumpshuarus and Hillary Polly-Esther.

11. So Haman got the robe and the horse. He robed Mordecai, and led him on horseback through the city streets, proclaiming before him, “This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!” 12. Afterward Mordecai returned to the king’s gate. But Haman rushed home, with his head covered in grief, 13. and told Zeresh his wife and all his friends everything that had happened to him. His advisers and his wife Zeresh said to him, “Since Mordecai, before whom your downfall has started, is of Jewish origin, you cannot stand against him—you will surely come to ruin!” 14. While they were still talking with him, the king’s eunuchs arrived and hurried Haman away to the banquet Esther had prepared.

Chapter Seven

Hillary: This second dinner was really my chance to win back the favor of young people, especially young women, and to reveal a big secret that I’ve been keeping.

Anderson: How did that go? And, what did you serve?

Hillary: Chicken. I told the King that there was someone who wanted to destroy me and my people and that there was already a plan in action to make it all happen. I didn’t rub it in and tell him that he was the one who approved it in the first place but, I laid all the blame on the evil, despicable Ted Haman Canadian Bacon Cruz. Oh, and I think he’s also a Scientologist!

Marco: That’s Tom Cruise…and he and I shop at the same GAP… which leads me back…

Chris Christie: Here we go again.

Marco: …it leads me back to the main point which is to dispel of this notion that Barack Obama doesn’t know what he’s doing. He knows exactly what he’s doing…he wants to tax toilet paper, he wants to outlaw bears, and he thinks that whales take up too much space. I kind of agree with him on that last point. I’m an excellent driver.

 

BREAKING NEWS

It has been revealed that Hillary Polly-Esther Pantsuit Clinton is really the baby cousin of Colonel BernieChai Sanders who raised her and is the leader of the Jewish people, whose national bird happens to be the mighty chicken.

Bernie: It’s not just our people’s bird, it’s finger lickin’ good!

Ted Cruz: Gee, I never saw that coming.

Anderson: King Trumpshuarus how do you feel about Hillary coming out as a Jew?

Trump: I love it! You know my daughter’s Jewish and if she was just a little younger I think she would be someone I would like to date.

Anderson: You know that’s really creepy?

Trump: You know that Ted Haman Canadian Bacon Cruz…I never saw that coming. Who knew? He’s so evil, so downright disgustingly devious and deviant. I have taken immediate steps in having him removed from any position of authority or power in this world or the next. He’s probably not even a citizen. Cruz, you’re fired!

5. King Ahashuarus asked Queen Esther, “Who is he? Where is he—the man who has dared to do such a thing?” 6. Esther said, “An adversary and enemy! This vile Haman!” Then Haman was terrified before the king and queen. 7. The king got up in a rage, left his wine and went out into the palace garden. But Haman, realizing that the king had already decided his fate, stayed behind to beg Queen Esther for his life. 8. Just as the king returned from the palace garden to the banquet hall, Haman was falling on the couch where Esther was reclining. The king exclaimed, “Will he even molest the queen while she is with me in the house?” As soon as the word left the king’s mouth, they covered Haman’s face. 9. Then Harbona, one of the eunuchs attending the king, said, “A pole reaching to a height of fifty cubits stands by Haman’s house. He had it set up for Mordecai, who spoke up to help the king.” The king said, “Impale him on it!” 10. So they impaled Haman on the pole he had set up for Mordecai. Then the king’s fury subsided.

 

BREAKING NEWS

Ted Haman Canadian Bacon Cruz has been impaled on the 50 foot pole whose construction he himself funded, the very same pole that was built after a suggestion made by his own wife and his closest friends.

Chapter Eight

 

BREAKING NEWS

At the Shushan palace, Colonel BernieChai Sanders has been sworn in as the next chief advisor of King Trumpshuarus and Hillary Polly-Esther Clinton. He immediately makes the chicken the Empire bird.

Hillary: And I made sure that the King’s edict, to have everyone kill all the Jews of the empire on the 13th of Adar, would be reversed. I had it posted on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google and linkedin and I made sure that emails, texts, and voicemails went out with the King’s signature and seal saying that people should not kill Jews; but, just in case they try, the Jews should fight back in defense; and that the NRA will make sure that all Jews have the right to bear arms against those idiots who still use flip-phones.

 

The Triumph of the Jews

15. When Mordecai left the king’s presence, he was wearing royal garments of blue and white, a large crown of gold and a purple robe of fine linen. And the city of Susa held a joyous celebration.

16. For the Jews there was light, happiness and joy, and honor. 17. In every province and in every city to which the edict of the king came, there was joy and gladness among the Jews, with feasting and celebrating. And many people of other nationalities became Jews because great respect of the Jews had fallen upon them.

Chapter Nine

BREAKING NEWS

And, the Jews throughout the 127 provinces of the Persian empire, killed EVERYONE who wanted to kill them on the day that Ted Haman Cruz picked by using the magical Pur, and rested on the next day, the 14th of Adar. They gave gifts to one another and the poor and many people were no longer afraid to say that they were Jewish.

John Blunt: And there you have it. To paraphrase the Bible, the Jews had enlightenment, happiness, and joy. Jews have continued to celebrate Purim as a reminder of the day when their ancestors were victorious over their enemies, and a time that looks forward to a future when it is safe for all people to be free to be who they want to be. It is an acknowledgement of the moment in history when the fates were reversed for the Jewish people; from grief to joy, poverty to wealth, tyranny to democracy, and from mourning to celebration. May it be in our time as well. Goodnight and let’s be careful out there.

Chapter Ten

The Greatness of Mordecai

1. King Ahashuarus imposed tribute throughout the empire, to its distant shores. 2. And all his acts of power and might, together with a full account of the greatness of Mordecai, whom the king had promoted, are they not written in the book of the annals of the kings of Media and Persia? 3. Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Ahashuarus, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all the Jews.

The End

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